June 2009
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Jeremy Clarkson wears his best morning soot as he... →
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Episode 2x05
[Jeremy and Richard are agreeing that middle-aged men can't drive convertibles]
James: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I have to stop you there. I hate to interrupt, but this is quite honestly the biggest load of limp-wristed twaddle I've ever heard in all my 5 weeks in television. These two- these two are not men, okay? This one, Richard Hammond: every morning sticks his head in a bucket of hair product, right? He's got a dog, but it's a poodle! And I don't know what you're laughing about, Clarkson, because you won't drink brown beer and this is the man who says, 'flatulence? Oh, it's not funny!' when clearly it is! Right. I am actually the only proper bloke on this programme, okay? I live in a tumbledown house full of old motorbikes. And I think a bloke can drive a convertible- but- it has to be the right one.
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Episode 2x01
[on the Smart Roadster's transmission]
Jeremy: The thing is, it's a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever... "Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta-- I'm a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I'm gonna swap some cogs around!"
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Episode 2x01
Richard: I am a driving god!
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Episode 1x04
Jeremy: [to a young woman on the street] What have you got for a price of a Vanquish, then...? That house there?
Young Woman: Mmm-hmm
Jeremy: Detached house: three bedrooms; lounge, whatever one of those is... three bedroom house, for about the same as the Aston. Would you rather have that house or that car.
Young Woman: The car.
Jeremy: Good girl.
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